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McCain Picks Hillary as VP!

Now wouldn't that be a dream ticket?
 
Think about it. No only would it be THE perfect way to completely usurp and upstage rock star Obama's "Change" campaign promise (I can think of nothing better to describve change than that) but it would also practically guarantee McCain the 18,000,000+ voters for Mrs. Clinton who felt betrayed. You don't think they're just dying for "change"? I'd be leery of those boring conservatives, if I were you John.
I'm betting that if they have a choice of going to polls or staying home to watch re-runs of "The Beverly Hillbillies", they'll choose the latter. You need the dems. This idea isn't so far fetched.
 
I was first to say I disliked Hillary Clinton as president until she grew some hustpa and showed what an incredible fighter she really was. That's who I want in the White House. A fighter, not anyone willing to have tea and krumpets with Iran who can't make up his mind about whether or not the troop surge is working.
 
The advantage for her of course is that it's a perfect "I told you so" to the Democratic National leaders. My eyes still hurt from rolling so much after the "It's all for the good of the party" concession speech and follow-up campaigning next to Obama. The guy clearly hates her as he proved by his Freudian slip, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Help Hillary pay off her debt. Basketball, anyone?" Why should she care anything about a party that clearly didn't invite her. Let's also not forget that should Mr. McCain nab the presidency, he still has to endure a Democratic controlled Congress. In between nail salon appointments by Nancy Pelosi and IQ tests for Harry Reid, they just might get something done if Hillary were the one casting all tie breaker votes, and she speaks their language.
 
I think it also goes without saying that Bill Clinton, you know, Mr. Hillary, would jump at the chance to say love you-mean it to B. O. Then if elected under the McCain-Clinton ticket, he could still run around with his fly open and should it come back to haunt him, McCain could simply say, "Oh those Democrats. You know I love them" and call it day.
 
I'd give anything to see Michelle's appearance on "The View" after the big announcement. Stop the presses, let's get a follow-up to that New Yorker Magazine cover. I'll buy 10 issues. Let's watch those fist bumps.
 
John McCain could convince Hillary to jump ship and it would in no way interfere with her message of America first. What better way to guarantee he'll be seeing things her way than to be 2nd in command. And here's the kicker: Mr. McCain should announce he's only running for one term. Who do you think would be the next obvious choice for president? Get the pen. Where does she sign?
 
The best part of all this, and my favorite part (it gives me goose pimples thinking about it), would be how it would be handled by the liberal press:
 
1. Bill O'Reilly would have to sit in for Keith Olberman, because he'd be stuck negotiating for cab fare back to Bristol, Ct.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Obama. Keith's unavailable right now, he's flailing around on the floor speechless. We're trying to get him to bite the stick. Can he get back to you? Oh, o-k, we'll tell him that you're Barack Obama, and that you DID NOT approve this message. Good luck, sir. Good-bye."
 
2. Rachel Maddow, host/star/choregrapher/director/producer and executive producer of "The Rachel Maddow Show" on AirAmerica would be speechless. She just might need some mandatory time off from her pretense as a political analyst on MSNBC to actually learn to either have the tan#2 make-up extend past her neck or not to wear the low cut blouses that reveal it. (I hate political analysts who refuse to be impartial. Why can't we just call her what she is? A democratic strategist and pro-Obama supporter).
 
3. Hillary's a New Yorker now. I'll bet there will be some real Bronx cheers after this one.
 
4. Fox News Channel's ratings would soar as would "Morning Joe" on MSNBC. I'd pop some popcorn to watch Joe Scarborough have a field day with this one.
 
All's fair in love and war. We're at war and John McCain would love to be in the White House. So would Mr. and Mrs. Hillary.
If you can't join 'em, BEAT 'EM, I always say.
 
There's your winning ticket Mr. McCain. Now put on your Nike's and sprint into the White House.
 
JUST DO IT!
 
Ron Maestri
Future McCain Communications Director.
 
 
 
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How Either Candidate Can Win.

It's interesting for me to see that everything I've been suggesting early on in my blogs, is now coming to fruition. A quick read of all my previous blog postings will prove that.
 
Almost from the beginning, I've said John McCain should pick/announce his VP right away to counter the Obama-mamas. Now it seems I'm hearing these same suggestions by the media, including the liberals.
 
Now, here are more predictions:
For McCain to win;
1. Apologize to America for not being a rock star, just a real person who really cares (sarcastic).
2. Pick your VP yesterday.
3. Clarify that you suggested Barack Obama go to Iraq and Afghanistan to speak with the troops and the commanders on the ground, not going to Paris, self-serving presumptive speeches in front of the Germany Gates or visiting the middle east was ever suggested. OBAMA IS REPHRASING WHAT YOU ORIGINALLY SUGGESTED TO JUSTIFY HIS WORLD TOUR. By the way, Obama looked absurd in a yamaka and from what I hear, he spent less than 45 minutes with our troops and more time working out in his Four Season's gym. I'd mention that 62 times a day.
4. Stop being so soft. You want to win? Be a bulldog.
5. Repeat after me: "Which would you rather have? George Bush's 3rd term or Jimmy Carter's 2nd..you know, the one who caused the energy crisis 30 years ago by gas rationing and a national 55mph speed limit?"  Let's not forget our current US President has been trying to get us more energy independent from the very beginning, it was the democrats who kept stopping him (and still do.) Obama is a democrat. Guilt by association.
6. Do an infomercial. Show charts. Show graphs.
7. Even though the liberal media is clearly spending much more time with Obama, it's beginning to show signs of backfire. I've been saying that since the beginning.
8. Tell America you're only interested in serving 1 term to prove it's America first.
9. Obama is part Muslim, yet he denies it. Offer the proof not to hold the Muslim roots against him, but asking "why" he denies them and what he's trying to hide. I'd certainly think twice about his motives, wouldn't you? He keeps talking about his grandmother, uncle, etc. What about his half brother? What's he ashamed of? Why did he remove 2 Muslim women from behind him at one of his rock concerts?
10. Repeat after me: "Obama is a coward afraid of one-on-one debating."
11. Stop micro-managing your own campaign. It's blatantly obvious you're doing this and it's not helping you at all.
12. Wear make-up. Hire a producer. I'd never have allowed a cheese aisle backdrop. Neither would any competant producer.
13. Tell us why when you go to Iraq and Afghanistan, you downplay it because you're not into grand standing to win an election. This might explain why no press joined you while there...the 9 times you've been.
14. Choose Mike Bloomberg or HILLARY CLINTON as your VP. Ouch!
 
 
For Obama to win:
1. Choose Hillary as your running mate or you just might lose. She's less full of crap than you are and perhaps Bill Clinton can keep you all under control.
2. We can all see through the big speeches in front of big crowds as having little to no substance. How about agreeing to those debates you kept saying you'd be happy to engage in?
3. Lower yourself and go into the heartland. We all know this is beneath you, but try.
4. Hope more Americans are stupid to vote for you than John McCain.
5. Wear flip-flops to complete the look.
 
That's all for now.
 
I'll be back again soon saying "I told you so" once again.
 
Ron Maestri
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How McCain Can Win.

I've come to the conclusion that if the election were tomorrow, Barack Obama would cinch it. Clearly, he has taken this campaign to all new heights by continuing to keep John McCain on the defensive. This coupled with the fact that NBC and MSNBC are so tilted towards him (Chris Matthews isn't a journalist. He's color commentator for the Obama campaign every night on MSNBC: The Barack Obama Channel), that there's only one simple solution for Mr. McCain to go from defensive to offensive: NAME YOUR VP NOW.
Think about it. We already know who John McCain is, so why not demonstrate change by never really saying it. By naming your VP now, you'd be breaking from tradition and literally changing all the rules. All the news, including NBC and MSNBC would have no other choice but to focus on you, your maverick idea and your nominee. MSNBC and NBC are so desperate for anything democratic, they're still talking about Hillary when the rest of us (and her) have clearly moved on. I'd give anything to see Mr. Matthews' jaw drop at that one. It might even make him speechless.
 
All the pressure from right wing conservatives would disappear and you have re-written the rules with one simple stroke.
 
Here are some more tips:
 
Whether you care to admit it or not, you're a salesman. We all are, no matter what profession we're in. So sell us. The first rule of selling on television is to speak to one person, not a group of us or ever refer to us as folks. There isn't a crowd of people watching you on TV. Even if there were, you're still talking to one person: ME. Speak to me by looking into the camera and saying, "You". Use "fellow Americans" sparingly, and since obviously you're shy in front of big crowds (sorry, but your economic speech the other night still couldn't hide the fact that you had less than 100 people in the room even though you were careful never to let us see them), turn the negative into a positive (another selling tip on TV). "I'm not into big crowds or grandstanding like my rock star wannabe opponent. I'm more of a one-on-one kind of guy. I speak to you because I care about you and your family.
 
A lot more eye contact one-on-one to the camera would be a much more beneficial. When you're on camera no matter how many or how few are in your studio audience, WE'RE THE AUDIENCE, not them. Even Barack Obama hasn't figured this one out yet, but trust me, he will.
 
Never forget to keep me watching. I dozed off 3 times during your last speech. If I'm not watching, I can't hear the message, can I? Barack Obama doesn't do that to me.
 
Tear apart his plan, piece by piece. Do the same with his voting record. A few jabs about the on again, off again flag pin would be cute.
 
Finally, and this is VERY IMPORTANT. After ever single line, make sure what you're answering the questions we're all asking you, "Why should I care?" and more specifically, "What does this mean for me?" In the world of selling on TV, we call that features and benefits.
 
(Feature) "My tax plan means lower taxes"   
(Benefit) "That means when I'm elected, you'll have more money to spend at the grocery store."
Even go one step further for the benefit of the benefit:
(Benefit of the Benefit) "More money for gas. More money for the kids and the quality time we all seem to lose sight of when things get too tight."
 
You get the idea. Take everything one step further, hearing me ask you, "Why should I care?" and "What does this mean for me?"
I feel compelled to help the underdog, especially considering my last party affiliation was republican before registering as an independent and I have a great deal of respect for John McCain. I'm still leery about Barack Obama, and NBC's embarrassing tilt towards his direction doesn't help much either. Anyone catch "NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams" soon after Mr. Obama's win of the party nomination? Practically the entire show was dedicated to him, and then a few days later, a brief segment was dedicated to John McCain, with the rest available on their website, a navigational nightmare no doubt.
 
Honestly, Barack Obama is beginning to work for me. His 50-state plan was nothing short of brilliant, even though I'd guess it was just a head fake. Take my advice and the ball, Mr. McCain. You can be the star. It's independents like me who can make or break you and right now I'm openly saying, "Hey, I'm still undecided. Yes YOU CAN!"
 
Respectfully,
 
RSM.
 
P.S. Get your wife to dress you as fabulous as she does for herself. You're looking a bit frumpy. And no, I'm not suggesting wearing a leather blazer.
 
 
 
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